My pen name is Michael Edwards, I guess. Names don’t matter much here. They’ve mostly been changed or altered because, let’s face it, some of this shit is a little too personal. Anyway, I’m a just normal guy. I’ve got a regular hair cut and an average body. I’m not the best looking guy out there, but I’m far from the worst. Everything about me simply screams average. If you’re not squeamish, then this blog will show you why my life is anything but normal. Hopefully, my erratic writing can captivate a little of who I am.
I’ve realized that my blog tends to get a bit messy, and by no means am I referring to the myriad acts of depravity I’ve experienced. What I’m referring to is the time line. Basically, there is none. It’s not by design. I simply jump from place to place. I generally write about whatever comes to mind. This can make my blog seem pretty chaotic, but I like that way. If reflects the spontaneity I’ve come to embrace in my life. No worries though, past stories usually have the date somewhere in the beginning. Current events don’t really need one what with Tumblr having a time stamp. Stick to that and everything else should make sense. Most of the stories are stand alone anyway.
The purpose of this blog is to show you who I am. It’s to provide a good laugh. This blog is for you hopeless romantics. It’s for you insane sex addicts. It’s for anyone who appreciates writing, no matter how bad it may be. It’s for the quiet guys who could never get the girl. It’s to show you just how much you can change if you really put in the effort. It’s to show you that anything can happen. It’s never giving up. It’s life.
If you’re observant, then you’ll notice that I like to draw a lot. I’m generally at work when I publish something; whether it’s a drawing or more writing. Essentially, my sketches are a lot like my writing. It’s rushed and unpolished. I skip details more than I’d like to and usually end up with something that’s at least presentable if not decent. If you’re not into any of it, well then my bad. I blame being interrupted constantly and editing just isn’t my bag.
The drawings I publish are generally cartoons of myself. I randomly decided to start drawing at work one day. I thought it’d be fun to draw iconic movie scenes while including myself in them somehow. As a result, you’ll find myriad parody versions of famous movies with a quote that I enjoyed included. I figured why not mix it up a bit? A lot of Tumblrs seem to consist of pictures and quotes. This seems like a good way of accomplishing that.
As far as Tumblr goes, I like it more than Blogspot, which is filled with pregnant women and their life stories. Tumblr might be better if it actually showed how many people went through the trouble to read your posts, but it’s cool in its own way. Still, I’m not a fan of the follow me and I’ll follow you trend though. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or anything. In general, I don’t follow anyone. I’m just not into re-blogging or trying to up my follow count. If you’re following me, I definitely appreciate it, but this isn’t about internet fame. I’m doing this for me and for anyone who enjoys reading. If you like it, then that’s great and I hope you stick around. I’d love to tell you a story.
When regarding my blog, every story is essentially self contained. It’s all true, minus the exact wording of course, and I typically don’t regret much of it. It’s made me who I am today. Low Expectations is probably a good jumping off point for anyone looking to dive in. It’s probably what I should have actually written here. Feel free to start from the beginning of my archive though. My blog has evolved overtime so the juicier more loony stories will take some digging. You might find the original posts a bit more entertaining, especially since they’re the only ones I actually edited.
Otherwise, here’s one final rant detailing a little about myself. I’m essentially the nice guy who got tired of the act. I decided I wanted to change and eventually did so. I go out a lot because I can, because it’s all I really know how to do. I’m kind of an asshole, but I try not to be. Every now and then you might find hints of the nice guy I was, but I tend drown him with Scotch, beer & those late nights that turn into mornings. As a result, I end up appreciating the extremes that come with being reckless. I generally live with no regrets. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you have to take the good with the bad. It can also make for one hell of a story.