Sly Wood

French For, Yea Sure - Pt. 2 (Adult Content)

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:36:50 -0400

The night was coming to an end. I’d been making out with Nora, the Au Pair, for some time. Her lips...

French For, Yea Sure - Pt. 1

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:48:00 -0400

I was supposed to meet Desean and several other guys in Greenwich Village. I took the train in on my...

“I’ll have you know that my crew and my plane come...

Wed, 15 May 2013 15:18:00 -0400

“I’ll have you know that my crew and my plane come first!”

Maverick, Top Gun (1986).

Dennis Reynolds: What the hell is that?Flip Flop Kid: I...

Mon, 13 May 2013 12:05:36 -0400

Dennis Reynolds: What the hell is that?

Flip Flop Kid: I don’t know.

Dennis Reynolds: It’s diet.

Flip Flop Kid: Oh.

Dennis Reynolds: Does it look like I need to be on a diet?

Flip Flop Kid: I don’t know.

Dennis Reynolds: Terrible. Take a lap.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, (2005-Present).

Don't Let Me Down

Sat, 11 May 2013 12:26:00 -0400

Carrie was a girl I met by sharing a smoke. It was a few weeks away from 2012. I wanted to talk to...

Life's a Test and I Get Bad Marks

Wed, 08 May 2013 14:45:00 -0400

“Making two stops,” I stated to the cab driver. “Nooo problem,” the driver...

Tap On My Window

Sun, 05 May 2013 19:19:46 -0400

It was the Halloween of 2012 when I decided to risk it and stay in the city. I figured if it was...

Sly Wood in book format. I had this published a year ago and...

Sun, 05 May 2013 17:43:11 -0400

Sly Wood in book format. I had this published a year ago and have it hidden behind my bookshelf. It cost about $65 and suprisingly is close to 500 pages. My dad was in the hospital when it came. My mom asked me what it was and I ripped open the packaging. She and my dad both smiled when they realized I had written it. They thumbed through it for a few seconds. That was when I realized what a bad idea that was. I had to pull the book away from my mom.

“First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss...

Fri, 03 May 2013 16:20:00 -0400

“First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me.”

Ash, Army of Darkness (1993).

Where It's At

Wed, 01 May 2013 19:37:00 -0400

First thing’s first. I take out the trash. No reason to let it wait and risk spilling it on...

Turn the Lights Off, Carry Me Home

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:00:58 -0400

It was past 1 AM when Garrett arrived. It must have been 4 or 5 years ago. It was the day before I...

A Moment for Indifference

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 14:55:00 -0400

I was a Sophomore and one of the best players on my JV Lacrosse team. I played Attack, primarily...

That’s Life Written and Directed by Martin Wichmann...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 15:42:43 -0400

That’s Life

Written and Directed by Martin Wichmann Andersen Cinematography by Mattias Troelstrup Filmed on 16mm, Copenhagen Denmark.

I'm a Pig and a Dog, Excuse Me If I Drool (Adult Content)

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 19:32:00 -0400

I got out of bed and she pulled the sheets over her body. She took the comforter and let it cover...

“I’m givin’ you that money so I don’t...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 21:04:54 -0400

“I’m givin’ you that money so I don’t have to kill your ass. You read the Bible, Ringo? Well, there’s this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.” I been saying that shit for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was some cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this morning made me think twice. See, now I’m thinking, maybe it means you’re the evil man, and I’m the righteous man, and Mr. 9 millimeter here, he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. I’d like that. But that shit ain’t the truth. The truth is, you’re the weak, and I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m trying, Ringo. I’m trying real hard to be the shepherd.”

Jules Winnfield, Pulp Fiction (1994).

True Rules For Old Inventions

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 16:22:00 -0400

Ben Stiller walked by a fan holding a cup of soda. He knocked it out of his hands and stared him...

“I’m not sure what four nines does, but the Ace, I...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 14:00:00 -0400

“I’m not sure what four nines does, but the Ace, I think, is pretty high.”

Danny Ocean, Ocean’s Eleven (2001).

“It all will fall, fall right into place.” Modest...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 22:34:00 -0400

“It all will fall, fall right into place.”

Modest Mouse, Gravity Rides Everything (2000).

So Fucking Happy I Could Cry

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 20:03:00 -0400

I’ve spent the past week wondering. Am I a good guy that does bad things? I think I used to...

“Things have never been so swell I have never failed to...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:28:00 -0400

“Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to fail.”

Nirvana, You Know You’re Right (2002).